When You "Know What You Need to Do And Aren't Doing It"
Have you ever found yourself saying “I know what I need to do, I'm just not doing it?”… {often said with a voice of frustration and maybe even a grrrr}.
And then maybe you say to yourself something along the lines of, “I'm so lazy”, “I'm just not disciplined enough”, or “I just don't have willpower”.
Here's what I always tell my clients… and what I want you to hear, as well.
Not doing the things you know you “should" do, even if you KNOW that the result of doing those things is something you want has NOTHING (let me repeat… NOTHING) to do with you being lazy, not having willpower, or not being disciplined. In all my years as a coach and working with women like you who've struggled with finding consistency with healthy habits, this is never the case.
There's always something else going on that's keeping them from taking the actions they know will lead them to their health goals.
Always.
And my favorite thing is helping them see that it's not a THEM problem. It's not a character flaw. And once we figure out the real reason (which is often something in their mindset and approach), they start taking action and doing the thing!
They start exercising consistently.
They start meal planning.
They start eating healthier.
Today on the Redefining Health Podcast we're talking about what's actually going on when you “know what you need to do and just aren't doing it”. I'm sharing the 4 reasons why you feel this way and what to do for each so you can get out of your own way and start doing the things you know will help you feel better, live healthier, and be consistent with it.
Here they are… here are 4 reasons why you “know what you need to do and just aren’t doing it”.
1. You don’t like what you’re doing.
Here’s basic psychology. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, you’re not going to be motivated to do it. So, if you have in your mind you have to wake up at 5 AM every day and run and you hate waking up early and you don’t like running, you’re NOT going to want to do it. And you’re going to do everything in your power to NOT do it.
So what I always tell my clients is to #1 make sure the thing they’re doing, whether it’s exercise or how they’re eating, is something they actually enjoy. And then #2 make whatever you’re doing more fun. Maybe it’s listening to an audiobook while you’re walking or meeting up with a running group (I recently did this and it was so fun!) or maybe it’s turning on fun music while you cook dinner or getting a coffee for while you grocery shop. These are just a few ideas but the goal is to do all that you can to make what you’re doing an enjoyable experience. Because THAT will be what motivates you to do it best.
2. You’re thinking it has to be “all or nothing”.
All or nothing thinking is a form of perfectionism. It’s seeing only two extremes as options. This is a huge thing for my clients. Here’s what “all or nothing” thinking can look like…
Thinking the only exercise that “counts” is something that’s super hard core and so hard it hurts, thinking meal planning and meal prepping has to look like 5 hours in the kitchen preparing every little thing, or thinking you can’t enjoy any sugar to reach your health goals.
These extremes aren’t enjoyable or sustainable. So again, of course you don’t want to take action because you already don’t want to and also probably don’t believe you’ll be able to stick with it.
So, instead of only seeing two extreme options… the “all or nothing” options… what we want to do is look for the other options in the middle. Like, maybe instead of thinking “I have to workout every day”, maybe you just commit to two days a week. Instead of meal prepping every meal, maybe you just meal prep breakfast. Instead of saying “I can never have sugar”, we can plan healthy meals and include something sweet on some of the days. It doesn’t have to be “all or nothing”.
3. You’re trying to follow a one-size-fits-all plan
One of the biggest reasons I see people struggling with consistency is trying to stick with a “one-size-fits-all” plan when we don’t have one-size fits-all lives or bodies.
Here’s the truth… we are each unique. We have unique lives. We have unique bodies. What works for me and my life and body may not work for you and your life and body. And if your standard of what “counts” and expectation of what is required to reach your health goals is something you already know you won’t have time for or won’t be able to do, of course you’re not taking action.
This is why, in my program I help my clients create their unique plan. We craft it around their unique body and life and make it doable for them. It’s NOT one-size-fits-all. Because one-size-fits-all doesn’t work. And might be why you’re struggling to take the first step and take action.
4. You’re afraid of failing
Dieting conditions us that, first of all, we have to follow our plan perfectly to be successful. And second, that failure isn’t an option. Just think about all the diets where if you miss one day you have to start at day 1 again… missing a day isn’t an option.
So if you’ve had icky feelings around failure in the past when it comes to a diet or a program or plan you were following and you made failing mean you were a failure, of course you’re struggling to get started. You don’t want to experience failure and those icky emotions again.
But here’s how I see failure. First, failure is inevitable because you’re a human. Failing is you just being a normal human. Normal humans aren’t perfect. So we can’t go into anything expecting to be perfect.
And I wonder what it would look like for you to see failure as #1 inevitable and #2 as an opportunity to learn. This takes the pressure off and lowers your expectations (in a good way). Because just think, if you’re expecting to miss a day at the gym or miss a week of meal prepping, or even overeat one night and you don’t make it mean you’re a failure, you don’t make it mean you can’t be successful, you can just get right back to your plan. And, paired with looking at failure as an opportunity to learn from, now you’re learning & growing and failing less and less. And that, to me, is always a win-win!
So these are the 4 reasons why you may “know what you need to do but aren’t doing it”. I’d love to know what you learned about yourself.
And if you’d like my help on working towards your health goals without dieting, in a way you can enjoy and be consistent with, I’d love to help you inside my program Stop Dieting Start Living. I’ll help you work through all the mindset obstacles & circumstances that have been keeping you stuck with your health goals. You can learn more HERE.